


It Can Be Taboo If You Want It To

by missbenzedrine



Category: My Chemical Romance
Genre: Band!fic, Exhibitionism, Jealousy, M/M, Possessive Behavior
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-07
Updated: 2013-04-07
Packaged: 2017-12-07 17:54:53
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,136
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/751346
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/missbenzedrine/pseuds/missbenzedrine
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The first sign should have been that the door was locked. And, well, the second was the intense moaning Frank could hear coming from the other side, instantly recognizing it as Gerard. It wasn’t even a subtle, possibly-just-eating-a-really-good-sandwich moan. He was flat out sex-moaning and still Frank chose to ignore it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	It Can Be Taboo If You Want It To

**Author's Note:**

> This is in response to Prompt #58 on http://everythingsfrerardnothinghurts.tumblr.com/prompts
> 
> Not really much to the plot...but whatever. Jealous!Frank is fun :)
> 
> Enjoy! (And if the smut sucks I really, really apologize...this is like my first time trying, so don't laugh)

The first sign should have been that the door was locked. And, well, the second was the intense moaning Frank could hear coming from the other side, instantly recognizing it as Gerard. It wasn’t even a subtle, possibly-just-eating-a-really-good-sandwich moan. He was flat out sex-moaning and still Frank chose to ignore it.

Later, when he thought about what happened, he would realize that his train of thought at that moment didn’t really make sense. For one, if the door is locked, you don’t go in. Even if you know how to unlock it because your band members were assholes and locked you out earlier (all it took was a bobby pin and a little jiggling, the thing was hardly foolproof). So, that was completely his fault. Also, as he had been fiddling the door open, his thoughts had been something like, _Motherfucker, this dressing room isn’t just for you. Go jerk off somewhere else. I need my fucking water bottle._ The thought hadn’t really crossed his mind that even walking in on Gee jerking off would have been significantly awkward. He could have simply yelled at Gerard later for using the entire dressing room after the show for his own _unmentionable_ purposes. Because, c’mon. What else would he be doing? They all saw his boners on stage.

But, when it came down to it, Frank didn’t choose common sense over stupidity and eventually got the door open. And Gerard was definitely _not_ jerking off.  And he was definitely not alone either. Bert was there. _Bert-fucking-McCracken_. Neither of the two looked over when Frank opened the door, apparently too engrossed with one another.

Of course, this would have been a _great_ opportunity for Frank to get the fuck out of there and pretend he hadn’t just seen way too much skin in all the wrong ways. Because, for lack of a better way to say it, Gerard and Bert were downright _fucking._

Bert had Gerard pushed up against the wall, holding his hips up with his hands as he thrust in repeatedly. Frank could see the way Gerard’s muscles tightened under his skin as he wrapped his arms around Bert’s neck. His eyes were squeezed shut, and, _oh god,_ there were those moans again. The breathy, blissed out sounds Frank had heard coming from inside just moments ago. It seemed so, so different now though.

Of course, he’d heard basically the same noises on stage too, minutes ago, as Gerard had rubbed himself all over Frank’s back. They’d turned Frank on just as much then as they did now. But now it wasn’t him. He wasn’t the one pinning Gee to a wall as he let out all those sounds. No, it was Bert, and Frank really, really hated Bert right then. 

Gerard’s bare thighs were wrapped around Bert’s waist, holding him up as Bert’s fingernails dug into them. It was hard to hear from the distance across the room, but Frank thought he heard Bert say something along the lines of “C’mon, Gee. You got this, baby,” before he pressed his mouth to the side of Gerard’s head. Gerard seemed to wince and let out a little whine. Frank could feel himself growing harder as he watched, but he could also feel a burning in the pit of his stomach, because he just _hated_ Bert so fucking much. All of a sudden he just had this strong desire to walk across the room and punch him right in the jaw. 

The worst part of it all was that Frank just _couldn’t_ look away. Neither of them noticed he was there, and he felt absolutely glued in place. His hand was still on the doorknob for Christ’s sake.

Both men were still wearing their shirts, apparently not having had the time to take those off too before they had their pants on the ground. Bert had his mouth attached to Gee’s throat, making loud and obscene noises as he probably bruised the skin. Every now and then, Frank watched as Bert turned his face, capturing Gee’s mouth with his own and swallowing the noises. Whether it was to keep Gerard from being so loud or just because he couldn’t help but kiss that gorgeous fucking mouth, Frank couldn’t tell. But he sure as hell knew what it would be if he were the one—

No. _Shit, fuck._ This was so wrong. Why the hell hadn’t he left yet? He had no clue how long he’d been standing there. How long this had been going on. But eventually, he saw Gerard reach a hand down from around Bert’s neck, the struggle as he worked to keep himself situated against the wall evident on his features. He stroked himself and Frank could tell he was already close, his moans getting shorter and more ragged as he got closer to the edge. Frank found himself wanting to stay, he wanted to see Gerard’s face when he came, even if it meant definitely getting caught, which as far as he could tell, he hadn’t yet. Gerard hadn’t opened his eyes, and Bert’s back was to him.

“Ah, f-fuck, Bert…I’m gonna…” And Frank was gone, the spell suddenly broken as he turned around quickly and closed the door as quietly as possible. He spun around and almost ran right into Ray who seemed to be heading for the dressing room too.

“Hey, Frank. You okay, man? You look scared shitless,” Ray laughed, reaching past Frank for the doorknob. Frank jutted his hand out and grabbed Ray’s arm earning a very strange look.

“I—uh. Don’t go in there. I just took a massive shit in the bathroom. It’ll probably stink for days, dude.”

Ray scrunched up his nose in disgust, before turning away, muttering about using the bus instead and how that was really unnecessary information.

Once Ray was gone, Frank maneuvered his way through the people running around the halls. Techs and others, some he knew, some he didn’t. He didn’t really care right then. A few minutes later, he found a good, empty spot and slid down the wall, willing his total hard-on to go away. _Holy fucking—_

“Hey, Frankie.” Frank shot his head up, eyes wide and panicked, to see Gerard standing there, alone, right above him. He looked fine. Perfectly normal actually, except maybe that his cheeks were a little flushed, but it was nothing Frank would notice if he hadn’t just endured the last ten minutes. It made Frank wonder just how often this happened. Had Gerard and Bert been fucking since Bert showed up? Was this going on every night and no one even knew about it? Or maybe he was the only one who didn’t know. Maybe the guys were all hiding this from him. Why would they do that? He deserved to know things too.

Frank looked back down, finding it hard to meet Gerard’s eyes when all he could see was the way he’d been pressed up against the wall, moaning _Bert’s_ name. And, just, oh god. All he wanted was to go back to his bunk, jerk one off and go the fuck to sleep. He played idly with one of the strands hanging from the hole at the knee of his jeans. “Hey, Gee…”

He saw Gerard’s hand appear in front of his face, apparently wanting Frank to take it. When Frank glanced up and met Gerard’s gaze, the other man furrowed his eyebrows. “You okay, Frankie? You look kinda green. You’re not getting sick again, are you?”

Frank shook his head, “Uh, no. I-um. It was a rough show, you know. I think I’m gonna stay here for a minute, just rest. I’ll be on the bus in a few, okay?”

 

Gerard looked worried, but accepted the answer and moved on. Frank watched him walk toward the bus, talking to a few of the techs along the way. Completely fucking normal. Like he _hadn’t_ just completely ruined the rest of this tour for Frank.

 

*****

“Alright, so I think that we should play _Vampires_ second next show, maybe it would fix the problems we had with the drum set…” Frank tuned out the conversation. He knew he should pay attention, it concerned him, after all. But he just couldn’t take his eyes off of Gerard.

Okay, so it had been a week. An entire week since Frank had walked in on Gerard and Bert having sex. And as much as he wanted to get over it, he couldn’t. He knew the guys were starting to get suspicious because he’d been really distant. Especially with Gerard. The most conversation they’d exchanged recently consisted of quick words with each other before, after or during shows. Not that Gerard hadn’t tried to talk to him, Frank just hadn’t been putting himself in the conversation. Because, _holy hell_ , he couldn’t listen to Gerard’s voice and _not_ hear the potential it had. The inkling of a moan every time he opened his mouth. He’d started getting boners on stage. Luckily he had his guitar but it was still inconvenient, and rubbing up against the back of a guitar for friction was just not the same. He just couldn’t help it when Gerard would moan loud and proud during a song. Frank would give _anything_ just to—

“Frank? Frankie? Snap out of it, man. This is important.” The guys were all staring at him intensely, waiting for him to join in.

 

“Oh, uh, yeah. Go ahead, do whatever. Just, you know, let me know. I’m gonna take a nap, I think.” His eyes flitted over to Gerard’s, which were staring back at him, the worry in them more evident now than ever. Frank quickly snapped his gaze away and got up, heading for the bunks.

 

*****

The show that night went pretty well. Or, as well as shows lately had been going. The music sounded great, of course. Ray was always awesome, and Gerard sounded just as perfect (and sexy) as usual. But the whole dynamic was off. It didn’t _feel_ right, and Frank knew he wasn’t the only one who noticed it. And this wasn’t the first show it had happened either.

But Frank wouldn’t let Gerard anywhere near him. The first couple of shows after that night, Gerard had tried, and failed, to get close to Frank, the smaller man just moving away. It wasn’t obvious to the crowd or anything, Frank made sure of that. But it was definitely obvious to Gerard, who eventually gave up trying. Frank could tell just by watching that the whole thing made Gerard less enthusiastic on stage. He still put on a great show, of course. He always did. But he stopped moving around as much and his voice wasn’t as bright when he made his speeches.

Frank hated it, because he’d always loved watching Gerard dance around on stage, performing his heart out. He’d loved it when he came over and did whatever with him. But that was just it. It was always _him_ he was rubbing up against _._ And now it wasn’t anymore. Because Frank just couldn’t get the image of Bert out of his mind.

Not that he’d ever had any doubt that Gerard fooled around when he got the chance, but seeing it first hand was totally different. When you didn’t know about anything else going on, it was easy to trick yourself into believing what you wanted to.

“Do you ever…” Frank looked up as Gerard started talking out into the audience. He was walking (or more accurately, sashaying) down the stage, pacing almost, one hand on his hip, the other holding the mic up to his face. He caught his breath, winded from the last song, and continued, “Do you ever feel like someone’s mad at you? But you just have no fucking clue why? You wait and you wait for them to tell you, until you realize they’re not going to. Yeah, well this next one’s for all you mother fuckers out there who have no clue why you’re being put in the dog house!” Gerard turned around then, facing Frank, his fist in the air as he stared him down. Frank let his fingers map out the beginning of the next song, keeping his eyes on Gerard as he started to sing. Soon though, Gerard was turned back around, singing to the crowd as they chanted back, loving every note that flowed from his mouth.

For the remainder of the show, Frank just huddled himself over his guitar, trying to focus on just that, and not the way Gerard’s hips swung as he made his way around the stage.

Eventually, the show ended, everyone heading backstage to pack up and get ready for another long night on the road. He thought he heard someone mention going to Baltimore next. But he wasn’t sure. He always lost track of time and location on tour.

After giving his guitar to the tech and taking a quick piss in the bathroom, Frank walked out into the cold, reaching the bus as quickly as he could.

 

He knew he was being a moody little bitch, and he knew that no one had any idea why, so they probably just thought he was going nuts from being on tour so long. He just needed…he didn’t know what he needed. Maybe a good fuck would be good for him. He’d have to ask Mikey if there were any good parties going on that night.

 

*****

He didn’t wind up asking Mikey anything, though, because Mikey had left before anyone even had a clue where he’d gone. Frank had watched as Gerard freaked out for about ten seconds, then forgot about it when someone handed him a cup of coffee.

Frank had sat himself down later that night, playing video games with Ray, Gerard sitting on the couch behind them and Bob already asleep in bed. Eventually Ray decided he was exhausted and headed back to the bunks, leaving Gerard and Frank alone in an unbearably awkward silence. Gerard looked up from the notebook in his lap, staring at Frank who was now sprawled out on the floor, trying to decide the best way to exit causally.

Neither of them spoke for a while, and Frank was about to break his vow of silence just because it was so fucking awkward, but then Gerard spoke up. “Did I do something, Frankie?” He asked like he’d been thinking about it a lot. Like he had racked his brain inside and out, trying to figure this weird thing out, and he just couldn’t. Frank simply rolled his head toward his best friend, unsure what to say. Of course, from Gerard’s little speech earlier, it was obvious it was all bothering him. But maybe he’d been talking about Bert. It wouldn’t surprise him. Stupid fucking Bert. _He_ deserved his own fucking speech.

He went with, “Nah, of course not. Why would you think that?”

“You’re just…acting really weird. And, I mean, it seems like it’s aimed toward me. So I just thought maybe I did something that made you mad…” Gerard shrugged and took a sip of the coffee he was holding against his chest.

 

_Besides fucking Bert McCracken? No, Gee. You’re perfectly fine._ Frank hopped up off the floor, gave Gerard a small smile and replied. “No, seriously, I’m fine. I’m tired though. So I’m gonna go ahead and get some sleep.” He turned his back toward Gerard, walking toward the bunks as he heard a resigned sigh behind him.

 

*****

Frank was finally starting to doze off when he felt his small bunk mattress shift and a familiar form slide into the tiny space. He was facing the wall and froze as he felt the change, suddenly more awake. He wasn’t expecting it when Gerard flipped him over onto his back and straddled his hips, staring down at him from the little height the bunk allowed.

“Okay, fucking talk, Frank. What is going on?” His voice was laced with anger and frustration, and it was more of a command than a question. “What the fuck did I do to you, because you’re fucking up this band and everything. And Christ, you’re not even talking to me anymore what is even with that? Is this about that time I wouldn’t kill that spider for you, because I already told you I’m really—“

Frank couldn’t stand it anymore so he pulled Gerard’s face down to his, crashing their lips together and cutting off his rambling. He tried to gauge Gerard’s reaction, his hand keeping a firm grip on the back of his neck. Gerard seemed to relax, melting into the kiss, his hands braced on either side of Frank’s body. He pulled back after a second, breathless and shocked. “So, um, is this—“

Frank captured his lips again, not wanting him to question it. Fuck, he wanted to make this last for a few minutes before he had to explain himself. He shook his head, telling Gerard to just shut up, and he seemed to get the idea, kissing Frank back instead.

Frank flipped them over, hovering over Gerard now, his eyes trailing over his face. God, he wanted this so badly. He wanted Gerard beneath him making those sounds again, and saying _his_ fucking name this time. Not Bert’s. Never Bert’s. His lips found their way to Gerard’s neck, tracing over the barely there marks still left from his night with Bert (and yes, despite the make-up Gerard had put over them, Frank had still taken ample notice of the purple bruises). He licked a strip up his throat, then chose a spot, determined to make it just that much more noticeable, darker so that maybe he wouldn’t even be able to cover it up. Maybe he could even convince Gerard not to try.

Once he pulled back and saw the bruise already forming, he kissed Gerard’s lips again, bringing a hand up to cup his cheek and smiling against them. He pulled lightly on Gerard’s bottom lip, listening to the soft moan he made in the back of his throat. Fuck, just, that was so _awesome_. He wanted more.

He sat up, straddling Gerard’s thighs and running his hands down his chest. He ran his fingertips up under the hem of his t-shirt, licking his bottom lip when the soft, pale skin was exposed. His hands were cold though, and he looked up when he heard Gerard’s quiet gasp. They stared at each other as Frank’s fingers ran over the waistband of Gerard’s pajama pants before pulling them down. He let out a laugh when he looked down to see that Gerard wasn’t wearing any underwear. Just as well, he thought.

He was already really hard, and Frank stroked him a couple of times, just to watch him come undone right there in his bunk. It was the hottest thing he’d ever seen. He bent down, licking at the head of his cock before sucking it into his mouth. He kept his eyes on Gerard’s face, staring at him through the hair that fell in front of his eyes.

Gerard bucked his hips up and Frank noticed that he was biting the shit out of his lip. Holding back the moans that Frank knew he was capable of. He really didn’t want that. And he knew that Ray and Bob were right there in their own bunks and so far they’d been pretty quiet. And he knew that if they woke Bob up they’d never hear the end of it. He really didn’t give a shit though. He took his mouth off of Gerard’s cock, earning a frustrated groan and climbed back up his body.

He kissed Gerard’s neck again, then bit at his ear lobe. “Don’t hold back, Gee. I want to hear you,” he whispered. Placing a small kiss right behind his ear, Frank pulled back, meeting Gerard’s eyes.

“Ah, fuck, Frankie.” Gerard pulled Frank’s face down, kissing him again with more passion and urgency. Frank ground his hips down, meeting Gerard’s and moaning at the friction. _Fuck…_

This time, when Frank lowered himself, wrapping his mouth around Gerard’s cock, he received one of those moans. The ones he’d been thinking about constantly for a week straight. He took him deeper, sucking and using one hand to hold down Gerard’s hips, the other snaking down to put much needed pressure on his own erection.

They were so loud, both moaning excessively and it was so fucking great _._ He just couldn’t believe they’d never done this before. Gerard’s hands were planted in his hair, tugging at the strands lightly. As he sucked him off, taking him deeper and deeper until he hit the back of his throat, swallowing around him. He could still see Gerard through his eyelashes: the way he threw his head back and let out a long moan, exposing his pale throat. The sounds bore resemblance to his own name, and he couldn’t help the way the corners of his mouth curled into a smile. It was everything from Frank’s best fantasies and more.

He just wanted it all to himself. It made him so fucking angry that Bert had gotten there first. McCracken had broken Gee down like this before Frank even got a chance. He dug his fingernails into Gerard’s hip, feeling himself grow angrier. He needed to find a way to keep Gerard for himself.

“F-fuck, Frankie—so close…” Frank took the hand off of himself to reach up and hold Gerard’s side, his back arching off of the bed as he came down Frank’s throat all at once, Frank swallowing every last drop. Frank took his mouth off, reaching down again, palming himself over his pajama pants. It only took a couple of strokes before he was coming in his pants like a fucking teenager.

He pulled himself back up Gerard’s body, planting open-mouth kisses all along his jaw. Gerard was panting as he reached down to pull his pants back up, Frank making it difficult as he wrapped himself around Gerard’s body like an octopus, his head buried in his shoulder.

Once Gerard was situated, his arms wrapped around Frank’s small torso, he pressed a kiss into Frank’s hair, resting his head against the pillow.

“So fucking hot, Gee. So fucking hot…” Frank whispered, because he just couldn’t _not._ Gerard started to stroke his hair and it was nice, soothing even.

“You too, Frankie.”

Frank couldn’t help himself, he just _had_ to know. Sitting up a little, he asked, “Hotter than Bert?” He met Gerard’s eyes not faltering in the question, but afraid of the answer.

He watched Gerard’s eyes widen as he stared back at Frank. His mouth opened and closed like he was horribly confused and Frank thought he looked like a fish. He laid back down, pulling Gerard closer to him and nosing at his chest. “I saw you two. Last week. I—um. I didn’t mean to, it just kind of happened.”

He sighed and bit his lip, waiting for Gerard to yell at him or tell him it was none of his business. Instead, he felt Gerard shake his head. “Bert and I…I mean, that just kinda happens sometimes. It’s weird. And I’ve been meaning to tell him we need to stop, but…it doesn’t mean anything, Frank.” He sounded like he didn’t even really understand the arrangement himself, and almost like he regretted it. He started to stroke the back of Frank’s head again. “Was that what’s been bothering you?” He didn’t sound arrogant or like he was making fun of Frank. He just sounded like he genuinely cared.

Frank nodded against his chest and smiled when Gerard just pulled him closer. He could hear the grin in Gerard’s voice, as he said, “That’s kinda adorable.” He laughed and Frank could feel his chest vibrating against his own. He pulled back though, to meet Gerard’s eyes.

“It was not fucking _adorable._ It was awful.” Gerard just continued laughing and pulled Frank into another kiss, which he didn’t fight. Squeezing his hip lightly, Gerard pulled back and smiled.

“It _is_ adorable. You were jealous.”

“I was _not,”_ Frank argued, except that he totally was and he knew it. “Okay, fine I was. But you don’t have to point it out. Can we make it taboo or something?”

Gerard’s laughter shook his chest again. “Okay, Frank, it can be taboo.” They lay there for a while, just wrapped up in each other. And Frank thought they were going to go to sleep, before Gerard spoke up again, sounding unsure of himself, "Do you want _this_ to mean something, Frank?” 

Frank nodded, pressing his mouth into the fabric of Gerard’s shirt, “Yeah, I’d like that.”

Gerard pulled him in even closer and smiled, “Yeah, me too.”


End file.
